Love and Lies
by mortalinstrumentsgurl1
Summary: Alina doesn't listen to Baghra about what she says about The Darkling. The love the two has for each other is not as strong as the destruction of the Shadow Fold. But when the Darkling finally breaks the truth to her, will she still care for him like she does now or will she regret everything that they had together?
1. Chapter 1

**So this is my first Shadow and Bone fanfiction and i really love this book. I can't wait for the sequel but sad that the Darkling is bad but i still love him anyway. The fist part is from the book but i hope you like this.**

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"_He is the Black Heretic," she said furiously, her face mere inches from mine. _

"_Of course he is." With some effort, I pried her fingers loose and stepped past her to the door. "I'm going to find you a Healer and then I'm going to bed."_

"_Look at me, girl."_

_I took a deep breath and turned around, my patience at an end. I felt sorry for her, but this was just too much. "Baghra-"_

_The words died on my lips._

_Darkness was pooling in Baghra's palms, the skeins of inky blackness floating into the air._

"_You do not know him, Alina." It was the first time she had ever used my name. "But I do."_

_I stood there watching dark spirals unfurl around her, trying to comprehend what I was seeing. Searching Baghra's strange features, I saw the explanation clearly written there. I saw the ghost of what must have once been a beautiful woman, a beautiful woman who gave birth to a beautiful son._

"_You're his mother," I whispered numbly._

She only nodded her head and the dark tendrils had disappeared.

"Now, you must go before disaster will happen," she said in an urgent voice but I did a double take. This woman who had trained me harshly and yelled at me and hurt me with her stick was telling me that the Darkling was the Black Heretic.

Why should I believe her? I had already told the Darkling that I trusted him.

I shook my head.

"No, you're insane. He wouldn't do that. I know he wouldn't. Even if you are his mother, he isn't a monster that you think he is," I hissed at her and she looked taken back.

"Don't act foolish, girl," she strictly said and I rolled my eyes.

"I think you really need a Healer," I said and I started to leave but she grabbed my arm.

"If you choose wrongly than whatever happens is your entire fault," she stared at me and I shook my head again. I yanked my arm from her grip and ran out of the secret passage way.

I ran to the domed room and I walked straight to the Darkling's quarter. I took a breath. Mal and the other trackers had left already, so I had nothing to worry about. The name of Mal gave my stomach a twist. I shook it off and opened the door and walked down the hallway that was familiar with me and opened another set of doors. I looked around and saw the Darkling at the end of the table having a talk with Ivan. He looked up when I had entered. He whispered something to Ivan and he got up and left, giving me and nod of acknowledgment.

"Alina is everything all right?" the Darkling asked me. I was going to tell him what happened but I couldn't help but glare at him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I hissed.

"Tell you what?"

"That Baghra was your mother," I said and he stood up and walked towards me.

"So she told you," he said and I gave him a scowl.

"You're not answering my question." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"It wasn't worth telling," he said softly and I saw something in his eyes that disappeared quickly.

I took a breath, "Baghra told me that you were the Black Heretic."

His eyes flickered to mine. "She told you _that_."

I nodded. He shook his head.

"I knew she was insane," he muttered.

"What?" I asked him. He sighed again.

"I'm not the Black Heretic, she is." I was taken back, Baghra the Black Heretic?

"How is that possible? She was the one who trained me to control my power," I told him and he put his hands on my shoulders.

"I think it's because she wanted to find your weakness," he said and I felt myself tense. A million things went through my mind but I was taken out of it when he pulled me in a hug. I was surprised for a moment but melted in his arms and hugged him back.

"Thank you," I heard him whisper.

"For what?" I asked.

"Trusting me; you could've believed her and left but you didn't."

"I told you I trusted you and I will always trust you," I murmured and I felt his hand lifting my chin to meet his eyes. He granite eyes were full of desire and care. He leaned in and kissed me ever so softly and I let out a groan in pleasure. I had actually missed his kisses, his touches. I didn't want to lose him. But a thought occurred to me.

"Wait," I pulled away and he gave me a confused look, "what about Baghra?"

"I'll get my men to find her. She must have left by now; old coward," he said and he let go of me. I felt my face blush and I saw him smirk.

"I'll take you to your room. You must be shaken on what had happened, I'll meet you there when I'm done," he said and grabbed my hand and led me to my room. We walked in silence but it was a good silence. The corridors were lighted by the moon and it shined down on us. In my point of view, it seemed romantic but in the current situation, it wasn't, with the so called 'Black Heretic' gone.

The Darkling opened my door and I entered.

"I'll be back," he whispered and I nodded and watched him go. I closed the door and I sat on my bed with a frustrated groan. I played with the lace of my _kefta _and then the charm. I smiled; he had given me this.

"Alina Starkov," a familiar voice said and I smelled the scent of a tomb. I stood up hastily and turned around. It was the Apparat; he was in my room but how.

"How did you get in here?" I asked him and took a step back when he walked towards me.

"Alina, you must go. It's happening too soon, too fast," he said. The words were almost exactly the words he was going to tell me earlier when I ditched him in the crowd.

"What are you talking about? I had enough nonsense for one day," I snarled and he took a few more steps. I backed up to the door.

"The Darkling," he started and I growled.

"Stop, I don't want to hear that he is the Black Heretic and those other damn unreasonable comments about him."

"But, Alina," he said and the door opened behind me and I fell into arms. The Darkling's arms; I felt them wrap around me and his arms were tense.

"What are you doing in here?" he asked; his voice smooth.

The Apparat looked at him and then his eyes flickered to me.

"Leave and leave Alina alone," the Darkling barked orders and the Apparat left without another glace.

"Are you okay?" his voice broke through me. I nodded and curled in his touch.

"Please don't leave," I whimpered. I didn't want another person coming to me and saying the exact same thing that the Apparat and Baghra had told me.

"I won't," he said and led me to my bed. We both lay facing each other, staring into each other's eyes. Then in a quick motion, he grabbed me into a fierce kiss and I groaned. One of his hands in my hair while the other rested on my waist; my hands on his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart.

I could feel the tension in his jaw, like he was holding back on something; holding back on giving me a real kiss or whatever he thought was a real kiss.

"What's wrong," I gasped against his lips.

"I should be with the others making plans to find Baghra," he whispered. I pulled back.

"Then if you have to, you can go," I said and embarrassment erupted on my face and I looked down.

"But you need me with you. I know you do. I'll make them tomorrow; right now, it's just me and you," he said and his lips rested on my neck.

_It's just me and you,_ the words repeated in my head. I put my hand in his hair and moaned. The moonlight was the only source of light and his silhouette shone through the light. I could feel his fingers undoing the buttons of my black _kefta_ and then his fingers on the bare skin of my waist. Uncontrollably, my hands unbuttoned his _kefta_ and he shrugged the velvet material off and flung it to the ground. He had a white shirt underneath and my hands went under the shirt, feeling soft skin on top of hard muscles. His muscles contracted to my touch and his grip on my waist tightened.

He pushed the fabric off my shoulders until it was off, leaving me bare and vulnerable to him. His hands skimmed over my skin, making me shiver in response. The rest of our clothes were on the floor and the bed creaked from our weight.

* * *

We lay in the bed, it was late at night but we were both awake. I was in his protective arms and we looked at the ceiling, not talking. So I decided to start a conversation.

"What will happen when you find Baghra?" I asked him.

"I don't know; thrown in the cells, maybe be thrown in the Shadow Fold and be eaten by the volcra," he was in thought and I snorted.

"Eaten by volcra?" I asked him and he gave an involuntary shrug. I sighed and nestled in his arms.

"What's going to happen after this?" I whispered.

"Things will go back to normal, mostly, but when they have the amplifier for you, then we can destroy the Fold," he said but something passed over his eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"What makes you say that?" he gave me a confused look.

"You just seem uneasy," I commented and he smiled.

"It's good to know that you care. You're the only one who actually cares for me and not pretend to. Everyone fears me or hate me of some sort but you care when no one else did. Not even my own mother," he said the last sentence in disgust.

"Hey, don't worry about everyone else. If they hate you or fear you, then let them. The only important thing is that I care and that's all that matters now. I will always care for you," I said with his face in my hands.

He looked at me with surprise, "So you won't regret this?"

"What makes you think that?" my eyebrows furrowed.

"That tracker," he said simply and I felt the well of anger bubbling up in me. I remembered the argument we had.

"He's just my friend and nothing else," I mumbled.

"Is everything all right between you two?"

"We just had an argument," I answered him and sighed.

Then, he opened his hand and dark tendrils come from his palms and up into the air. I watched as they spiraled with one another and then, I held out my hand and a dim light flashed up and entwined with the darkness. It looked beautiful and it represented them; darkness and light together as one.

"I remembered the first time I saw you, or saw your coach," I said but I didn't stop the light and neither did he stop the darkness. He gave a smile.

"Really, I don't remember seeing you until I heard what you could do," he said.

"I remembered that your coach almost ran me over," I said to him and he gave a chuckle.

"How is that to laugh about? If I were to be run over, I would have been dead and you would have no Sun Summoner," I sneered at him and he stopped laughing but kept a smirk.

"Okay, I'm sorry, but you weren't run over, were you?" he asked and I rolled my eyes.

"Clearly I don't look like road kill."

"No, you look beautiful," he said softly and I looked up at him, the light and dark tendrils disappeared.

"No I don't," I said.

"Yes you do," he said and placed a kiss on my lips.

"Now, go to sleep," he whispered and I lay my head on his broad, bare chest and closed my eyes; waiting for tomorrow and the complications that were going to go on.

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**So i hope you like this and go check out my other stories. I will be updating as soon as possible so, review, please?**


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up from the sunlight hitting my eyes and I groaned inwardly to myself. I shifted myself but something held me from moving. I looked up and saw that the Darkling was sleeping and had his arm wrapped around me. Then, the previous night came to and I blushed. I decided to study his features: his face was relaxed but was a bit tense, his dark eyelashes casted shadows on his high cheek bones, and his hair was mussed.

Now, his eyes were open, his granite eyes glinting and his lips held a smirk.

"Good morning," he said softly.

"Morning," I replied back and I could feel another blush coming; such an effect that he had on me.

"I think you should hurry and dress before suspicion comes from the domed hall," he said.

"What about you?" I asked him.

"I'm going to speak with Ivan and my men about Baghra and send out a search for her," he answered me and sat up, bringing me up with him. I could feel the cold air hit my back and sent a shiver on my spine. But that was replaced my warm hands skimming my exposed skin. I leaned in closer to the Darkling's arms.

"I'll come back tonight, if you would want that," he said hesitantly.

"I would love that," I whispered to him and he gave me a genuine smile. We started to move our faces closer in and kissed each other. It was a small but passionate kiss.

"We should really go," I whispered and he gave a sigh.

"You're right," he said and he got out of bed and started to pull on his clothes and then his _kefta._ I did the same but put on my midnight blue _kefta_. I combed my hair down the best that I could. I could see in the mirror the Darkling looking at me with a bemused grin on his face. Once I was finished, I turned to him and saw that he was closer than I thought he was.

"When can I see you again when you're done making plans" I asked him.

"How about noon at the lake," he suggested and I nodded. He pressed his lips to mine and then grabbed my hand and led me out of my room to the domed hall.

"Bye," I said and he looked at me and nodded.

"Bye," he said back and went into his quarters. I quickly walked to the Summoner's table and Nadia and Marie gave me a look.

"What?" I asked them.

"You and the Darkling, cough up," Marie said but there was something light in her voice.

"Uh… There isn't-,"

"Nope, don't say there isn't anything going on. We saw you two holding hands," Nadia said with a smile playing on her lips.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, being in denial.

"Don't act coy, you two like each other," Marie squealed quietly and I could feel my face flush. I didn't really know what to say. They knew about the Darkling and I, so I had to tell them, right?

"I-," I started my sentence but was cut off by a scream and I turned around. I instantly saw blood on the floor. My mouth opened in shock and my eyes trailed up and saw a broad shouldered man that had a black beard with a curved sword in his hand, and it had smeared blood on it: Fjerdan.

"_Ubit' ikh!"_ the Fjerdan yelled and then multiple Fjerdan came running from places and started to attack the Grisha. Screams and cries erupted and the Darkling's doors flew open and he came out and absorbed the scene. I saw his eyes lock with mine and whatever showed on my face, he ran over to me.

"Are you okay?" he asked me and I nodded.

I remembered my last encounter with the other Fjerdan that had attacked me and tried to kill me.

"Alina, you have to use your light to help the Grisha," the Darkling said and I nodded. I took a deep breath and held out my hand and my light had pierced the black bearded man. He gave a grunt and the Darkling swooped his hand in a slicing movement: the Cut. I looked away before I saw what happened. I heard a yell and then the man was silent. I didn't dare to look at the corpse.

But I did anyway and saw that he was wearing a purple _kefta. _ That must have been the way he had come in the Little Palace. I looked around. Fjerdan warriors were everywhere but the Inferni were defending everyone with their bright, hot fire even the Tidemakers were helping. The others were fighting, even I. My training with Botkin had improved ever since.

Fjerdan and Grisha were falling but still fighting one another.

Then the room went into darkness and a loud noise, like thunder, erupted the room and the darkness ceased. Most of the Fjerdan were dead now, but there were more. I was panting hard and when a pair of muscular arms grabbed me from behind and put a sack over my head I kicked out furiously.

"No, let me go!" I screamed but I didn't know what was happening, I couldn't see anything. I grunted in my struggling but it didn't work. Someone carried me away and I screamed.

"Alina!" I heard the Darkling's voice but was muffled when the door shut and I was tossed to the ground in an unceremonious way. I shoved the sack off my head and was met by a shark sword.

"Stand, witch," the Fjerdan said. This one had red hair and reminded me of Mikhael. I stood up and looked at the man.

"You make a move, I will slice your head off," he snarled and I kept still.

_Think, Alina,_ I thought. I looked around and saw that it was an abandoned room that no one ever used. I started to panic.

"This is for Fjerda," he said and jutted the sword forward and training with Botkin came to me. I moved to the side and grabbed the hilt, where the Fjerdan's hand was and gripped it tight. He looked at me surprised but snapped out but I punched him in the face. He grunted when I heard a satisfying crack and he dropped the sword. I grabbed it and used my training with the situation.

"Why are you here?" I asked him. He looked at me.

"To kill the witches, of course; you all think that you are much important and higher than the rest of us. You look at us like we're mundane. But you, all the witches, are mundane. You make no sense in this power and is unequally unfair to the rest," the Fjerdan explained. I shook my head and darted to him. I was able to slice open his forearm.

He swung his massive arm at me and hit me and I fell backwards. The sword was out of my hands. I stood up quickly and swayed a bit. I ran for the sword but he was faster and tackled me to the ground.

"Not this time," he growled.

"Move!" I screamed and he smiled at me.

"You are such a pretty thing."

I tensed when I felt his hand roam on my arm and up to my neck.

"May as well have fun with you," he said in a low, guttural voice.

His hand went down my chest and clutched my breast. I screamed in protest but my arms were trapped under his knees. I felt tears well up and I couldn't conjure my light. I guess it was because I was so terrified right now that I couldn't concentrate at all. The tears flowed down and as did his hands.

"NO!" I screamed and I screamed and screamed. His hand was going under my _kefta _and clutched at my bare skin. His other hand came to the top of my _kefta_ and gripped it and started to rip it to pieces, leaving my skin to become exposed.

"No, please, stop. I beg you," I cried and tried to pry free but he was too heavy.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you," he whispered and I screamed again.

_C'mon, light, shine, do whatever to defend yourself!_ I screamed in my mind. He kept ripping the material and most of it was destroyed and he roamed the bare skin. I cried more and wished for help.

Then the Fjerdan screamed and sat up quickly. Then he was split in half and I crawled away from the body and curled in a ball. I was shivering and shaking uncontrollably at what was happening. He had explored places that only one person had ever been before and I was terrified.

"Alina," I warm voice said to me but I didn't do anything in response.

"It's me, Alina. Please, look at me," he said and I did. His hard eyes were on mine and he was angry. He got up and went to the door and slammed his hands together and dark clouds drifted to the Fjerdan's heads and they all fell to the ground. He walked back to me and embraced me while I cried in his chest.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here earlier," he whispered to me and helped me up. He looked at my entire body and shrugged off his _kefta _and put it around me and did the buttons so nothing was showing. He put his arms around me and helped me walk.

People were staring at me and had sympathy in their eyes.

"Get guards to surround the palace, now," the Darkling commanded and Ivan nodded and went off.

"Everyone, help clean," he said and they started to clean up the place and Healers were helping the injured, which there were a ton of Grisha injured.

"Are you hurt?" the Darkling asked me and I shook my head. We walked to my room in silence and when we got there, he sat me on the bed and grabbed my chin, gently, and turned it side to side; not caring if I answered that I wasn't injured, he wanted to make sure.

He started to move the _kefta _off my shoulders and I closed my eyes and gave a breath.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said softly and I nodded my head and looked at him. He was only wearing a shirt and pants without his _kefta_ and he looked different.

He took off the material and I was left in my destroyed _kefta_. It was only ripped near the tops of breasts but showed off more than I wanted it to, near my waist, and the rest was ripped near my legs and my arms. I could hear a growl come out of the Darkling's lips.

I looked down at myself and felt ashamed. I couldn't defend myself and I was going to cry again but he cupped my face in his warm hands and made me look at him. He got on his knees, so that we were at eye level.

"I couldn't, defend myself. I feel weak and… and," I stuttered out but he shook his head.

"No, it wasn't your fault," he said and laid his head on mine. I looked in his beloved eyes and put my arms around his neck to draw him closer.

"I'll protect from now on. You don't have to worry about anything. I'll be there," he whispered and I nodded.

"I'll get Genya," he said and pressed his lips to my head and left. I got up and walked over to the mirror. I looked at myself. I looked like a mess. My hair was wild an I didn't have to explain my clothing. I heard the door open and Genya appeared in the mirror. I started to cry, feeling weak.

"Oh, Alina," she said and came over to comfort me; all while the Darkling watched.

* * *

I looked out to the lake. It was nighttime and everyone was sleeping. Genya had taken my destroyed _kefta _and ordered one of the Frabrikators to mend a new one.

I looked out of the lake, where I was supposed to meet the Darkling at noon but was cancelled from the earlier events. I was haunted by the moment but tried not to think of it. I closed my eyes.

I felt someone wrap their arms around me and I leaned into his arms.

"I won't let anyone hurt you, anymore," the Darkling whispered to me and we stayed like that for a long time.

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**So there's the second chapter. I hope you like it and i hope you review but i kinda need your help.**

**My guy best friend and i have been very close and i feel weird around him now. i think I like, like him and i don't know what to do and the school year is almost over and he's going to a different school. What do i do? PLease help**


	3. Chapter 3

The Darkling had gone back to the domed hall to check up on the others. I sat in my room, near the window, still looking at the lake. I could still feel the Fjerdan's hands on me and it gave me shivers. I tried not to think of it but it played in my head over and over again.

The moon gloomed its bright light and I stared at it. I felt like I was in a trance.

I silently got up and went outside to the lake. I continued to stare at it. I could feel the cold breeze course through my nightgown that Genya helped me put on. I closed my eyes and breathed in the cold air around me. I shivered a bit and concentrated to bring my light.

I could feel the warmth on my hands and I looked down and saw it.

_Now, why could I do this now but not when I was attacked?_

I was angry with myself but mostly disappointed.

"What are you doing out here?" his voice rang behind me but I didn't turn around, just continued to stare at the light.

I could hear his footsteps walking closer to me and then stopped.

"Alina, what are you doing out here?" he asked me again.

"I thought that I should get some fresh air," I made up something. I just came out here because of the moon.

"You're going to freeze if you don't come back inside," the Darkling softly said to me. I turned to him, the light disappearing from my hands and dropping them to my sides.

I looked him in his eyes, his beautiful, hypnotizing eyes. He stared back at me, his eyes searching my face for any emotions or actions. He stepped closer to me and put his hands on my arms. I could feel the warmth of his hands making tiny tendrils of electricity course through my body.

"Let's go inside," he whispered but I didn't make a move.

"Why do you like me?" I asked out of the blue. He looked surprised but then settled himself and closed the distance between us to wrap his arms around me.

"You're my hope, you trust me more than anyone here, and you can see me better than anyone else. You're one of a kind. I love you," he whispered the last part and I froze. He loved me. He actually loved me. I had never had another man love me before, only Mal and his friendship wasn't love just best friends that cared about each other; but it didn't count as love, right?

I leaned my head up and kissed him gently. The kiss lasted only about five seconds and when I pulled back, his eyes were filled with lust and desire.

He led me back inside and when we went inside my room, I pulled him in a quick embrace and held him tightly.

He was surprised at first but hugged me back. He made me feel safe but there was something in his posture that made me feel unsafe but I pushed passed that and treasured this moment.

"Don't worry Alina, I'll get the stag's antlers and you'll have your amplifier and everything will be back to normal, the Shadow Fold will be gone, and I'll be by your side," he whispered and he led me to my bed and lay me down and pulled the blanket over me. I looked into his eyes.

"I love you, too," I told him and he gave a small smile. He kissed my head and started to leave.

He stopped at the door and turned to look at me, "Goodnight, Alina." He left and I felt sleep take over me, consuming me in the darkness.

Darkling POV

I walked to my quarters and the trackers were already seated at the tables. I had asked Ivan earlier to gather them, to see of their progression.

I sat at the end of the table and that was when I saw the blue eyed boy, the one that was attacked by the volcra, the one who had an argument with Alina.

"What's your progress with the stag?" I asked them.

"We're having the sense that the stag may be somewhere near Tsibeya, may be feeding off there and coming out since the cold winter is passing and the sun is starting to come out," one of the trackers said but I paid my attention to the blue eyed one. He stared back at me, somewhat challenging me.

"When will you leave to find the stag?" I asked.

"Maybe tomorrow, we may have luck on finding it right away," the blue eyed one said.

"Fine, but, bring the stag here alive, I will deal with it when you have arrived with it here," I ordered. "Now, leave but not you," I said to the blue eyed boy.

Everyone left in a hurry and the boy sat where he was.

"Why do you want me here?" he asked me, his tone snarky.

"You've upset someone dear to me," I told him. He snorted and I scowled at him.

"Of course, she would tell you what had happened between us," he muttered.

"She only told me you two had an argument, no more than that. Now what were you talking about?"

"It's none of your concern."

"Since I care for Alina, it must concern me," I said to him, gripping the table.

"What are you going to do about it? Kill me, then do it and let your Alina see how much of a monster you really are," he barked at me and I felt rage coming up from inside me.

But he did have a point, if I had killed him right now, Alina would never forgive me.

"What was it about?" I asked him, controlling my voice.

"I told you -,"

"Tell me, or I will banish you from here and you will never see Alina ever again," I said sternly and I saw a look pass over his face. I laughed in my head, but not for long, if I were in his shoes, I would be broken if I wouldn't see Alina ever again. I did love her but I knew if I told her the truth, she would hate me.

"Fine, we were talking about you. How you practically own her, all of us. You control what we have to do here and do whatever you want or say," he spilled and I was frozen.

"Go," was all I said and he got up and left, not looking back.

I looked at the table, my hands gripping the table, still, so hard that my knuckles were white. I was angry but, again, his words were partially true. I got up rapidly and knocked my chair over. I was tempted to mess the room but I couldn't now, I had a feeling someone was waiting for me outside. I knew that feeling, I always felt that feeling when she was around; of course we are related.

I walked out of the room and walked out of the Little Palace, and there, in front of the Little Palace was her, my mother; Baghra.

Alina POV

I was almost fully asleep, when someone knocked on my door. I got up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I got up and opened the door and there stood Mal.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him, looking side to side in the hallway.

"I needed to talk to you," he said and I opened the door wider for him to come in.

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked him. Everything was suddenly so awkward but we did have a little fight and I was still mad at him.

"I miss you, Alina," he sat on my bed and looked at his hands. My face softened a bit.

"I missed you too," I said softly. He looked up at me and there was something in his eyes: pain.

"Is it true?"

"What's true?" I asked, confused.

"Do you care for him, like he cares for you?" he asked me, his voice pained.

"Yes," I answered.

"Why, why him; what in the name of Kribirsk, made you care for him all of a sudden?" he asked venomously.

"So, you came here to talk to me about my feelings with him?" I tell him, incredulously.

"Well, it's obvious that I didn't come here to talk about _my _feelings for the Darkling, " he said darkly and I glared at him.

"Why would you care?"

"Because I'm responsible for you," he said with possession.

"Since when, Mal?"

"Ever since I saw you the first time; I had been the one who always saved you from something or had to help you with the smallest things," he said to me and stood up and walked in front of me.

"You are not responsible of me," I growled.

"Then is he responsible for you then?" he asked.

"Get out," I ordered.

"Or what?"

"Get out! I don't want to see you here anymore. Leave me alone!" I screamed at me and he looked taken back.

"Alina," he said.

"Just go, Mal. Just leave," I sighed. I was tired and stressed out. I opened the door for him and slammed it shut behind him. I flopped on my bed. I relaxed and closed my eyes but I couldn't go to sleep yet. Even if I was tired I couldn't sleep. Mal and the Darkling kept passing over my head but they were two different boys that I cared for so much but I had to care for one more than the other.

Everything was so complicated.

Darkling POV

"What are you doing here?" I sneered at the old bag.

"To put some sense into you, boy," she said.

"What do you want?"

"You care for her, no?" she asked me and I was surprised.

"What does Alina have to do with this?"

"Alina has so much to do with this, boy. You are playing your charms to get her to obey your every command but you hate it all at once. You don't want her to hate you but you want to use her. It makes you angry, doesn't it?" she asked me and cocked her head to the side.

I didn't say anything. I stared at her and she stared right back.

"Why can't you just tell her the truth, boy? Are you scared to tell her?"

"I can't, it will ruin my plans."

"But you don't want to lose her. What happens when she realizes that you had just used her and she starts to pull away from her? She may be under your control with her power when you put the amplifier on her but you can't control her emotions towards you."

"Be quiet," I snarled at her and she smiled.

"You know I am right. It's either that you tell her the truth or she will hate you," she said and left in a black cloud.

I walked back inside to Alina's room and silently opened the door and saw that she was fast asleep. Her breathing soft and steady; I walked over to her. I sat gently on the bed and brushed and strand of hair out of her face. She opened her eyes when my fingers brushed her skin.

"What are you doing here?" she asked me and I smiled at her.

"Just checking up on you," I said and stretched out, holding her in my arms.

"Oh," she yawned and nuzzled her face in my neck. I held her tight. Tell the truth, I just had to tell her. Now, when was I nervous? Of course, I would be nervous, I care for her and she makes me feel different.

"Alina, can I tell you something?" I asked her and she made a noise.

"I, um," I sighed, "I love you."

"I love you, too," she said and she fell asleep. I would tell her the truth but not now, but soon.

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**I updated and i hope you like this! Not much said but i hope you review.**


	4. Chapter 4

Alina POV

I woke up with the sun hitting my eyes. The Darkling was nowhere to be found; when I sat up I saw my new blue _kefta_ on the wardrobe. I stretched and went to get ready. When I was done, I waited for Genya in my room. So much has gone on. My argument with Mal at the domed hall, my nights event with the Darkling, the Fjerdan attack, the Fjerdan man that had touched me, my encounter with Mal last night, and Baghra.

I heard the door open behind me and saw Genya.

"Hello, Alina," she greeted with a warm smile and I smiled back.

She started to brush my hair and started the conversation up.

"So, what's with you and the Darkling?" she asked curiously and I stuttered a bit.

"He's been taking more like on you than anything else," she commented and I flushed.

"Did you two do anything rash because I saw him come into your room last night."

"We didn't do anything last night, but we did something during the night of the festival," I squeaked out and she gasped and grabbed me so we sat on my bed.

"What did you two do?" Her eyes were wide and glossy. Curiosity and worry was all over her face. She was my friend and she deserved to know what the Darkling and I shared so I told her.

"We slept with each other," I admitted.

"You mean just a little cuddle…"

"No, I mean we _slept_ with each other," I said again, emphasizing on 'slept' and realization came to her face. She gave a dramatic gasp.

"You and the Darkling did _it?_" I nodded. She smiled like crazy.

"Alina, I don't know what to say. So, you and the Darkling are like a couple?"

"I think so," I wasn't sure if we were a couple or not. We had passionate kisses and embraces and we slept with each other but we never made anything official. Well, we said 'I love you', does that make it official? I didn't know.

She was going to say something but the Darkling came into the room.

"Genya, I need to talk to Alina alone," he said to her and she nodded. She got up, shot me a look and left the room.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked me and came over. I nodded and watched as he sat down next to me.

"What do you want to talk to me about?" I asked him. He looked at me, his eyes were dark in thought but when he looked at me, the darkness in his eyes was gone.

"It's about the Black Heretic," he started but he was interrupted when Ivan came into the room. The Darkling and I looked at him and Ivan was huffing.

"Sire, they have found it," he informed and the Darkling stood up.

"Tell them to go in my quarters and bring David there also," the Darkling ordered and Ivan bowed to him and left.

The Darkling looked at me and grabbed my hands to pull me up.

"They did it Alina, they found the stag. We can get your amplifier," he said to me and I looked up into his eyes. I smiled.

"We can destroy the Shadow Fold now," I whispered and stood up on my tip toes and kissed him. He kissed back but it wasn't like the ones we had shared. It was passionate but his jaw was clenched.

I pulled back from him and gave a confused face. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry," he whispered to me and I was more confused than ever. He put his hand on the back of my neck. I started to get sleepy. It was happening again, when I had ridden with him on the horse; he had put his hand on my neck and I had fallen asleep.

"What's going on," was the last I said to him before I fell into his arms.

Darkling POV

I caught her and lay her on the bed. I swept a piece of her hair away from her face and my hand trailed along her cheek.

"So you would choose power over her?" a voice said and I grabbed a bowl on the nightstand and turned to throw it at her. The bowl shattered when it hit the wall. No one was there. Nothing; Baghra, my mother, wasn't there. I was going insane now. I looked at Alina once more and then exited the room to my quarters. Everyone was there as I asked and David was standing by the wall.

I sat down. "You found the stag a lot earlier than I thought," I said and saw him again, the blue eyed boy.

"Well, it seemed so important to you that we just had to go find the stag earlier," another spoke.

"Who found it?" I asked them and the blue eyed boy raised his eyes to me, with a light smirk on his mouth.

"Mal did," there were a chorus of 'Mal' and I gave the boy a look again.

"You," I asked him and he nodded. "Where is the stag then?"

"It is outside guarded with men," he answered and I nodded.

"Ivan, David, come," I ordered and the two followed me out. I went down the palace steps and saw the stag, ropes around the creature that was also tied to a post. As said, men were posted around the stag so it would not escape. "Go," I commanded and they left. I looked at Ivan and he gave me a sheathed dagger. I stepped in front of the stag; its eyes big and dark, afraid of what I was going to do.

I unsheathed the dagger and held it up and then brought it back down to make the kill. It fell to the ground with a soft thud, twitching a bit. I brought the blade down again till it stopped moving. "David."

He went over to the stag and pulled out a small saw like tool. He knelt by the stag and started to cut off the antlers. I could hear every sound going back and forth. When he was done, he gave both the pieces to me. I nodded to him and he bowed, leaving after.

"Start preparing for the trip to the Shadow Fold," I told Ivan and he bowed and left.

"Do you really want to do this?" that voice again.; I turned around and saw her. My mother stood some feet away from me. I scowled at her. "It is what's best for Ravka. I'm not going to let my relationship with Alina get in the way of my plans," I informed Baghra.

"She is going to hate you and you will not bear that. I know you care for her and you do not what her to be mad at you but this silly plan of yours," she didn't finish her sentence, just shook her head; ashamed of me. "I thought I raised you better than this." Was all she said and then left.

"What is your plan?" another voice and I turned around to see Mal. He had overheard the conversation. "It is none of your concern," I addressed him but he shook his head. "No, it has something to do with Alina. I think you're doing something else in the Shadow Fold, something that you are not telling Alina."

"What are you going to do about it, Tracker?" I asked him. I could see the tense in his muscles. I could see a figure in the shadows and I nodded. The figure came out of hiding and trapped the Tracker's hands behind him and held him down. "Good, now take him to the cellars, Ivan."

"Alina will know what kind of monster you are, she'll hate you forever!" the Tracker struggled from Ivan's grip but was cast away. I sighed and walked back to Alina's room. She was still on the bed, sleeping. I dragged a chair by her bed and sat down and leaned over her. I placed the amplifier together around her neck and they stuck together. I sat back and looked.

She stirred in her sleep and then her eyes fluttered open and landed on me. She sat up quickly; a confused look on her as he hand went up to her neck and felt the amplifier.

"What happened? Why did you knock me out?" she asked me. It had to be now. Now I had to tell her the truth.

"Alina, I need to tell you something," she gave me a look to go on. "Baghra's isn't the Black Heretic."

"What are you talking about? You told me that she was the Black Heretic because she told me…" her sentence trailed on and her eyes were wide with fear.

"I was going to tell you-," I didn't finish my sentence because there was a loud cracking noise that filled the room. My cheek stinging. She had slapped me.

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**So had did you like it? So i just got Siege and Storm and i am super excited! Can't wait to finish it! But i don't think I'm going to mix that book in with the fanfiction. So yeah... Review?**


	5. Fireplace

Alina POV

My hand cracked across his cheek and he just sat there, still. I waited for his reaction, the anger still coursed through me. He had lied to me, seduced me in getting what he wanted. We slept together…

I could feel the tears welling up and I blinked them away furiously. I looked back at the Darkling and saw that he was staring at me, anger in his eyes. I glared back at him. I gave up everything for him: the first army, my innocence, Mal. Mal, where was he? He could… he could do something about this, right?

"You don't understand Alina," he said finally and I looked at him in disbelief.

"I don't understand? Oh, I understand. I understand that you lied to me about the Black Heretic, I understand that you were toying with me to get what you wanted all along, and I understand that what you felt against me was all a big lie," I threw at him and the fire in his eyes grew. Now, I was scared. I remember when he had killed that Fjerdan with the Cut. But then he needed me.

"Think what you want Alina but you cannot run from what you are."

I got off the bed and stared him down. He stood up and rounded the bed and was standing across from me.

"I can try to run from it, I'll find Mal and -," he laughed darkly and I couldn't help at how good it sounded to my ears. Just for a moment, I thought that maybe if this wasn't real, than we could be together, destroy the Shadow Fold, and do whatever we could do. But no, I had to ignore Baghra and run to the Darkling.

"The Tracker, I don't think that it would be hard to find him, knowing that he is in the cellars," he said.

"What did you do to him?"

"I did nothing… yet," he made his way to me and then backed me up against the wall. I turned away from him but his hand forced me to look at him. "If you don't do what I say, you can say goodbye to the Tracker."

"What are you going to do," the tears spilled down my cheeks and he wiped them away with his thumb.

"If you don't do what I say, I'll feed him to the volcra but if you do anything risky, I'll have Ivan kill him before he can say his last words to you," he warned and the tears spilled out more.

"You wouldn't," I whispered.

"I would," he said and he cupped my face in his hands. Such a loving gesture, but now knowing the truth, was repulsing. But I had accidentally leaned into his touch and I could see the triumph in his eyes. "Why. Please, let him go and I'll do what you say. Let him go as far away as possible, and I'll give you what you want."

"I already have what I want but if you ever dare to leave and find him, I will let my men find him first and kill him right in front of you," he warned me and I gave a little gasped at the thought of one of the Darkling's men cutting Mal's throat open. I shook the thought away and looked him in the eye.

"If this was all you asked for, then why did you have to sleep with me," I had to force the last three words out of my mouth. His face turned to a serious expression and I could see his eyes grow darker.

"I'm still a human," he whispered. We looked at each other. I should hate him, be disgusted of what we done with each other, but I didn't feel any of that. I felt the love and longing towards him. I wanted him. I _needed _him. But what he did… I was so confused! I didn't know what to do. What should I do?

"What I'm doing is what is best for the Grisha, Alina. They want this; they are tired of being used for some kind of tom foolery by the King and Queen, just ask Genya," he said to me. Wait, Genya had something to do with this? But then again, she had told me that the Darkling had protected her and she did not like to be the Queen's servant at all.

"Not all of them want it," I told him; the statement was pointed at me but I guess it wasn't.

"You're right, some of the Grisha do not know about my plans at all," he answered. He pressed closer to me and I was pressed up against the wall more. My breathing was ragged and I couldn't stop it; I hated that he had this effect on me. His hands were tight on my waist while my hands pressed against his chest, struggling to push him away.

"I want to see Mal," the words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them. I could see anger in his eyes and was that… jealousy? His hands tightened on me and I gave a small whimper.

"Fine," he leaned forward and whispered in my ear, "But what I'm doing, Alina, is for our own good."

He grabbed hold of my arm and dragged me behind him, taking me to the cellars to find Mal. Tears still stained my cheeks so I kept my head down. He led me down some steps and through a doorway. I didn't dare look up till we stopped.

"You have two minutes with him," the Darkling said and left through the doorway and closed the door. I looked around the room and I spotted a figure behind the bars of one cellar. I saw the brown hair and the blue eyes looking straight at me; I ran over to the bars and collapsed on my knees. He went over to the bars on the other side.

"Mal," I cried.

"Aline, you're here," he spotted the amplifier and his eyes grew darker.

"Mal, he's going to send you somewhere, where you will be safe of what will happen," my voice broke as I said the words.

"No I'm not going to leave you with him," his words were strong but I had to let him go or he would die by the Darkling's orders.

"You have to. You've been helping me and saving my life when we were growing up; it's my turn to save yours," I whispered and I he took my hands in his.

"This can't be the end of our story, Alina," his voice was cracking up; Mal, who never cried, was going to cry.

"Our story will never end Mal. What are best friends for?" I tried to smile through the pain.

"Yeah, best friends."

"I won't forget you," I whispered.

"Please don't do this," he said to me.

"It's what's best, Mal," I told him and held onto his hand tighter. I heard the door open.

"You're times up, Alina," the Darkling said and I smiled at Mal. I got up and untangled our hands and I heard a cry of protest from him.

"Alina," he said.

"Bye, Mal," I said to him and turned around.

"ALINA!" Mal yelled and I pressed my lips together hard and held back the tears. The Darkling held the door open for me and closed it. I could still hear Mal's cries of my names but I had to ignore it. When we reached the top of the steps, I collapsed to the ground. The tears spilled over my cheeks once more and I gasped for breath. This was the last time I got to see Mal. I felt the Darkling pull myself to him and I couldn't help but curl into his touch. He held me as I cried for Mal. I clutched onto his _kefta_ and I felt him pick me up and walk. The Darkling may be someone that you didn't want to mess with if you had a death wish but he had a caring side when he wanted to show it.

I did not know where he was taking me but I did not care.

I looked up and saw that we were in the Darkling's quarters. He placed me onto his bed and I sat up instantly. "Why am I in here?" I asked him

"Where do you want to send your Tracker," he said to me, not answering my question.

"As far away as possible," I answered and looked into the fire, the only bright thing in the room. The rest of his room was just dark. He sat at the edge of the bed, his back towards me. I looked at him and I could see his shoulders were tense. I remember touching those bare shoulders some nights ago. No, stop. I can't have any feelings for him for what he's going to do and what he did. But I wanted him more than ever. I had this urge, like he was the missing puzzle in my life.

"Do you actually care for me?" I asked him carefully. I could see the rise and fall of his shoulders as he laughed lightly.

"Of course I do," he said softly but he did not look back at me.

"Then why did you have to hurt me?"

"I didn't mean for you to get hurt, Alina," his voice was low. I took a breath. I crawled over to him and stood on my knees behind him. I placed my hands on his shoulders and I could feel him relax.

"Do you believe me, Alina?" he asked. I sat on my calves of my legs and my hands trailed down his back.

"Should I?"

He did not answer. The love for him in me grew whenever I was near him and I wrapped my arms around his waist, my head on his spine. I could hear his heartbeat; loud and strong.

"I'm just doing what is right for the Grisha," he answered to me.

"What does your feelings have to do about it then?"

He turned around quickly and I had to let go of him. "It pains me that I had to lie to you but what do you expect from me Alina. Most people in Ravka think that I don't have any kind of feelings or emotions to actually care for anything. They think I am a monster. Someone that they want gone forever. But when you came everything was different," he admitted. My heart clenched at his words.

He actually did care and of course I did too. I stared into his grey eyes and then I cupped his face into my hands. He closed his eyes and let out a breath.

"You see the good in people," he whispered to me.

"I understand what you're trying to do is for the Grisha, but…." But what? What did I have to say for that? He was only trying to help the Grisha, right? He isn't really the bad guy here.

"But what," he said to me and opened his eyes again. I couldn't answer to him; he stood up and went over to the fire. I followed him there. I looked into the eyes of the fire, taking the heat that it was shedding.

"I can see that you are good but in your own way that others think that you are doing the wrong thing. Did that make any sense?" the words confused me and I heard him laugh at me. I looked at him. "What I'm trying to say is, even if I don't like what you're planning to do, doesn't mean that you're doing something to help others."

He turned to me and put his hands on my hips. My emotions went crazy inside but it was pin pointed to my love for him. I wanted him. Now.

I stood on my tip toes and pressed my lips against his and he responded immediately. My hands went through his black hair and pulled him closer. His hands traveled down to the back of my thighs and picked me up; making me wrap my legs around his waist. He walked up to the wall and pressed against me. I whimpered and I heard him groan in the back of his throat. He pushed us off the wall and he fell into an arm chair. I worked on the buttons of his _kefta_ and yanked it off his shoulders. Everything in my conscious was telling me that this was wrong that I should hate him but it felt right.

I made short work of his white shirt and he took off my blue _kefta_ and practically tore off my shirt. His lips went down to my throat where he attacked my neck. I gasped. I remembered our first night together. How happy I was when I woke up with him. I wanted to be happy again.

He leaned forward and we fell onto the rug in front of the fire. I could feel his hands trail all over me, like he couldn't get enough. I pulled onto his hair and brought his lips back up to mine.

Even if there was a part of me that hated me, there was the other half that loved him.

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**Sorry for the wait. Had writer's block and school just started... So not much said but here you go!**


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